Must be the Money

Working totally sucks. I know that was eloquent but that is the best way that I can describe my dissatisfaction and contempt. I was so upset about going to work on Monday that I mistakenly put on my underwears wrong. As is waist through a leg hole and didn't even notice until my third trip to the bathroom. However, I am pretty proud that I didn't cry all day and that my first phone call home to check in was at 1. Everything was fine, as I knew it would be. Wyatt was playing happily all day with Aunt B and I was frantically pacing at work waiting for 5 o'clock.

Before Wy, I secretly looked down upon housewives and stay at home moms. Having the false assumption that all they did was sit in front of the TV, play with the kids, and eat bon-bons. Where was the motivation to seek aspirations for themselves? Who wouldn't love staying at home all day and having all the free time in the world? Where was the desire to strive to meet personal goals? I unabashedly say I was dead wrong. Being at home these past 11 weeks has tested my patience, pushed me to the edge of my sanity, overwhelmed me to tears of joy, and engaged my spirit. I worked the hardest I have ever in my life. Every single moment of every day and night, I had to bring my A game, my full attention, and my intelligence . I can't even conceive of a 9 to 5 that would required that much of myself.

I expected to be able to get many things accomplished being at home all the time. None of which I did but I totally don't care. I rarely checked my email. This blog became another item on my to-do-list. There were many days where my mom and dad would be coming home from work and I would still be un-showered, in my pajamas, and covered in spit-up simply because I never got around to getting dressed. I never had enough time for anything and I never wanted to go back to work. Maybe if my job was more stimulating or paid me huge amounts of money I would have been excited to return to my desk but neither of these statements are true.

I adored being home with Wyatt. I expected at some point that I would have gotten sick of being cooped up in the house. That I would want some semblance of my old life back. That I would enjoy going to the bathroom by myself but that day never dawned. The sole reason that I went back to work was because I am beyond broke and even that was a slow motivator. Wyatt is so much more important to me then my job or money and I highly doubt it will get any easier to leave him. It is working day number two. Is it too early to start looking for other jobs? Stay at home jobs?