Wyatt One Liners - The Bathroom Edition

We are at a Mets game with Gammy, Pa, Auntie B, Wyatt and I.  Gammy had attempted to get us a round of beers and came back empty hands to a chorus of groans and sighs.
"I didn't know everyone got carded?!?" She said exasperated.
"What?!" Wyatt chimes in.  "Everyone gets farted?  I didn't know everyone gets farted!"
He had the people sitting around us laughing with that one.

Pa and Wyatt are sitting in the bathroom together. After about 10 minutes, I decide to check to make sure everything is ok.  Before I can get over the threshold Wyatt looks up saying, "Mom, you better get out of here. Its going to get stinky."

Gammy asks if Wyatt needs to go pee or poop. "I'm doing a little pee-pees, a little tootles, and a little farts."

After a unusually long bathroom session with Wyatt, I go to flush the toilet and see the largest man-sized poop I have ever seen.  "Woah!  Wyatt those are some big poo-poos"
"Don't flush it!!!  I want Gammy and Pa to see."
As he runs out of the room to get them he's yelling "It's a whopper.  Gammy!  Pa!  I did a whopper!" 

On our way home from camping we have to make a pit stop because Wyatt announced he had to go poo-poos.  We stopped at a pizza joint and I took him to the bathroom.  After about 30 minutes in the bathroom, I asked him what was the matter.  "The poo-poos are too big for my butt."  We ended up staying at the pizza place for close to 2 hours before giving in to performance anxiety in a new place.  When we got home, he ran straight to the bathroom and pooped.

Wyatt was giving a shot at peeing standing up.  It wasn't going as well as planned.  He hit the toilet, and then the seat, and then the floor, and then my leg, and finally himself before I picked him up and put him in the bathtub.  I tend to think he did it on purpose because he was getting a huge reaction out of me.  Once in the tub and he was watching me clean up he says "Don't worry.  Don't panic.  It's going to be OK."