Uncharted Territory

So, I think it is about time to introduce a new character to the blog.  I have been hesitant to write anything about Drew because it seems as soon as I write about someone I am dating, we end up broken up.  Its the blog curse, I guess.  But I have a gut feeling that this one might be around for a while.  And I think I have put his name out there a few times already....so here goes.

I guess we have, what you'd call, a hot and heavy relationship.  We have only been dating for 6 months and it moved into serious material sooner then I would have hoped.  But it just kind of happened.  We just clicked.  And I just kinda let it.  He is a good man with kind heart and I find it easy to trust him.  So, when Drew proposed to meet Wyatt and I at a diner about a month into our relationship, I said yes.  He knew about Wyatt before I met him (it was a set up via mutual friends) which made it SO MUCH EASIER to navigate the "I have a son" scenario.  It just felt right. We went. I was nervous. This was the first man that I dated that I introduced Wyatt to.  Of course, Wyatt took to Drew right from the beginning.  Then without knowing much about Wyatt, Drew asks if he would like to see some fire trucks.  Drew is a volunteer fireman.  Wyatt's eyes lit up like Drew had just produced Christmas morning in a dirty diner booth.  I was so impressed how patient Drew was, how thoughtful, and at ease he seemed with the entire situation.  Then a few days later, Drew asked if we would like to visit him at work so Wyatt could see all the trucks (he works for the town).  We spent about 3 hours there; visiting every truck on site.  Wyatt rode on diggers, worked a dump truck, helped drive a pay-loader.  Kid talked about it for DAYS.


Then, I freaked out.  Cause that's what I do.  And proceeded to Google child molesters and convicted felons.  Because Wyatt is my son.  And even though I had NO VIABLE reason for assuming anything.  Hell, we met through mutual friends that know both of us very well.  I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened to him on my watch.  Especially something preventable.

And then I calmed down a bit. Mostly because Wyatt just adores him.  But as our relationship progresses, it brings more issues to light.  I have brought this man into Wyatt's life.  Wyatt doesn't know that there is a possibility that he might leave.  That maybe he should be a little guarded.  Wyatt is in this with his whole self.  He talks about Drew.  He makes Drew pictures at school.  He brings in Drew's dirt bike magazines for show-n-tell.  If you ask Wyatt what he wants to do when he grows up he says "I want to be a dump truck man and a fire truck man like Drew." He loves this man with his whole heart.  Is it foolish of me to let them get close?  Am I setting him up for disappointment?  Do I want this to last because they are close, because they get along so well?

I love Drew.  We have a great time together.  He keeps me focused when my life feels blurry around the edges.  He's not perfect but neither am I.  But having Wyatt makes dating more complicated.  It is not just about if I love Drew.  Its also about if he's a good influence for Wyatt (which I think he is).  If Wyatt feels safe with Drew.  If Drew understands the parenting lines, which often get blurred when there are a lot of adults around.  Its about Drew accepting that I will always put Wyatt first.  That my future is based on Wyatt's needs and not my own wants.  Its about Wyatt and I as a package deal.

We are both very blessed to have Drew in our lives.  And I am everyday grateful to have Wyatt and Drew get along as well as they do.  To have someone love me and my son.  Most of all, I am excited to have someone change the oil in my car.  I hate to be pessimistic and generally I try not to start a relationship predicting how it will end.  I hope it won't end but at 6 months in I think it is ok to not be 100% sure.  Sometimes I feel like I need to be 100% sure for Wyatt.  Because Wyatt is %110 sure.  I'm at a lost for how this works.  Completely uncharted territory.