56 Months

Bud,

Picture Day!

I am smiling already starting to write your letter.  Its not that this month has been any different then any other month.  Its just that we have been having such a great time together. You have been, we have been, so happy.  I'm not saying that we don't fight; because we do.  There are some days when I get annoyed at my own voice saying your name a million times.  And other days where I think that if I hear you say Momma one more time my head is going to explode.  But for the most part we have been very in sync.  I think part of it is because I have been taking a little more me time.  Last Sunday, I sat on Uncle Mike's couch, by the fire, with a beer in my hand, watching terrible TV.  It was just so nice to not be needed for three seconds.  Just to sit and be still.  I have found that when I get those moments, it makes me so much more engaged and excited to see you.  I can't wait to dote on you in the morning.  It is a hard lesson to learn because there is that part of me that feels guilty; that I am a bad mother because I need some time away from you.  But I have learned that I am a better mother because I have taken that time for myself.

I made the awful mistake of letting you rent a Lego Star Wars computer game from the library.  Which then we needed to buy because you loved it so much.  I was really hoping that we wouldn't get into this boy phase for a while yet.  You have been playing it a lot but its still new. I try to limit it to a level a day.  It is the first thing you talk about when you get up in the morning.  And you remember EVERYTHING.  Most of the time I have no idea what you're talking about.  You go through these phases of things that you are obsessed with, this computer game is the newest phase.  I have to sit and play it with you which I will do because you have been such a great helper with the house.  But I have to tap out eventually.  It stresses me out.  My OCD wants to complete everything and I have to keep reminding myself that you just like to run around and use the force.  I'd like to think that you are learning to problem solve or something.  There has to be something positive.

You had your first field trip (parents invited) to Bailey Arboretum.  I had such a great time watching you play with your friends.  But the best part was taking a nature walk and spotting our new house across the pond.  I pulled you over to me and showed you what I was seeing.  You looked at me with such excitement, such pride.  "Its our new house, Momma.  Its going to be our new house!" Then you ran to your friends and teachers to tell them. They were all asking you questions and you were telling everyone about our renovation adventures.  You are using a screw gun!!  The most exciting thing ever!!  You said "It's not really our kitchen, but Momma is making it our kitchen."  I love that you are as excited as I am.  I love that you want to help and make things "ours".  I love that you ask to go there.  I'm feeling really good about it all.

After your first goal in soccer, something just clicked in your head.  It was cool to watch.  You were doing your normal running with a flair; looking at your feet, jazz hands flying, singing a little song and then the ball was in front of you.  We started screaming.  You raced down the field.  Pa, the cousin clan, Uncle Mike, Joanna and I were all watching from the side lines.  Once you scored we all jumped up yelling. You did a victory dance. That game you went on to score 10 more goals (you say it was 80 hundred goals).  You looked to us every time you scored to watch for us cheering.  At one point, it was you against 4 other kids because your team mates needed a break.  You kept stealing the ball and running it down.  It just clicked.  For that game only because the next game you only scored one and that was just by sheer luck.  You'd rather run with flair.  I love watching you play and honestly, it such a good laugh.  Video next.  Lots of video.

I don't remember how it started but every once and a while I start going "Ring, Ring" and keep on ringing until you pick up.  It usually takes you a while because it makes you giggle so much.  But, finally, after you answer, I start singing "I just called to say I love you."  You think this is hysterical.  Then the other day in the car you did it to me.  "Ring, ring."
"Oh Hello Wyatt!"
"I just called to say I love you." You pause, "Ring, ring."
"Hello?"
"I just called to say I want to play Star Wars.  I just called to say you are my friend."
We crack each other up.  Your giggling can make any day brighter.

I love you everyday,
Momma